Abil
Abil is a story that I wrote during my teenage years. It was written by stringing together poetry and dreams which spoke to my Self awakening.
In my early twenties, I made four unique copies with four different bindings. I only have photos of my copy. It has a box covered in my old Smoking Jacket. The book cover is decorated with stones and glass pearls. The pages were printed on a home printer and then decorated and glued to folios which were later sewn together.
EXCERPT:
Abil finds herself in a dark void.
There is a girl in the void. She takes Abil by the hand and leads her down a long corridor and out into a beautiful pasture full with trees, blue sky and an emerald green field. There is a large Oak tree in the field and under it sits a woman looking at her reflection in the mirrors of a vanity table. The girl brings Abil to the mirror and from over the womans shoulder she sees her own reflection. It is not pretty. Rather it is sad, distorted, grieved, and confused. Abil feels a profound sorrow.
Abil finds herself back in the void.
There is a girl in the darkness. She takes Abil by the hand and leads her down a long corridor and out into a beautiful pasture full with trees, blue sky and an emerald green field. There is a large Oak tree in the field and under it sits a woman looking at her reflection in the mirrors of a vanity table. The girl brings Abil to the mirror and from over the woman's shoulder she sees her own reflection. She is radiant; her expression impregnated with life. Profound relief is what she feels.
Once more Abil is in the void.
Once more the girl takes her by the hand and leads her down a long corridor and out into a beautiful pasture full with trees, blue skies and an emerald green field. Once more she sees the large Oak tree in the field and there sits the woman looking at her reflection in the mirrors of a vanity table. Once more Abil is brought to the mirror and from over the woman's shoulder she sees her own reflection. It is a changing reflection. It consolidates all feelings and the expression of all feelings is seen.
Resolution comes about and there is an inexpressible sense of Peace. A space with no limits, encompassing both extremes and neither simultaneously. She needed to see all sides of herself.
All possibilities.
Then to step beyond
To the Center
Beyond the battle of Good and Evil.
She needed to recognize the pain to feel the relief of the joy. She had to look in the mirror of life and see herself reflected as a whole. She no longer saw herself as Abil but rather she saw Abil as a part of Herself.
"I am all things. I exist as the bluebird. I am the soaring bird with emerald eyes. I am the cat, I am the unborn child. I am the dying man. This I know.
I am a dancer in this dream. I am the dancing dream. I am the dance. I am the dream."
Abil notices a group of jesters juggling colored balls. They play in the ethereal darkness of the dream. The balls are of many different colors, every color imaginable. Smooth and glassy they are, polished and brilliant they are. So smooth she can see her reflection in them as they dance between hands. She sees herself in each one of the spinning balls. Each one is so different, only her reflection is a constant, steady amongst the myriad of colors. She knows that the balls are the balls of perception. The jugglers hold a treasure of knowledge within their hands for they hold all perception. She thinks I shall master the game and I shall see myself clearly in all the balls. I shall see through all eyes for all eyes I have.